The Power of "Un"

When I was 30 years old, I began having joint pain. It came on suddenly and unexpectedly. I woke up one morning and couldn't use my right thumb. The pain and stiffness were unbelievable. Then it disappeared.

A week later, I developed unexplainable pain in my right shoulder. Had I slept on it wrong? No. Had I bumped it into something? No.

As the days went by, the pain continued in an unpredictable pattern. Not content to stay in one joint, it was constantly on the move - from hand to foot, jaw to hip, right side to left - unstable, unruly, and uncontrollable. Six months and many doctor visits later, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.

For the past 20+ years, I've managed this unrelenting illness with medication, diet, and exercise. Sometime I thumb my nose at it and decide to learn to ride a motorcycle...and then ride it to California! Other times I lay on the couch, not able to sit up or tie my shoe. For most of the 20 years, no one besides my family would even know I have this illness.

But frankly, it's becoming more difficult. I do what I can when I can, but I am way-laid more often by the severity of the pain and the accompanying fatigue. Sometimes I look at my hand and think, "How can pain in these three fingers cause so much misery?"

Unfortunately, the illness leads me to withdraw from those I love as going to work and getting through the day takes all the energy I have. Unapologetically, I decline most evening invitations as the fatigue overcomes any desire I might have for going out. Sometimes, even my plans for writing this blog get de-railed by the illness.

Are there new medicines I could try? Thankfully yes. Will this disease go away? Probably not. Will I write about this again? It's a painful subject (pun intended), so chances are unlikely. I intend to keep fighting the power of un.